Just a holiday thought for y’all….
This time of year we hear the “what should I give (my mom/my dad/my cousin/my coworker)” sorts of questions quite a bit, and the new “default answer” for minimalists and decluttering buffs seems to be “don’t give stuff, give experiences!”
While there’s nothing wrong with experience gifts, I’m afraid we’ve taken the knee-jerk reaction of “get them a (new tie/pair of socks/gift card)” and replaced it a new knee-jerk reaction of “give experience gifts”.
And to the extent that it’s reactive and not reflective, it’s the same problem.
See, we as human beings want “default solutions” to problems. We want to know that we can give somebody a given item for Christmas, and it will always be considered appropriate.
The problem with things like Christmas gifts is that, more than ever, we all have different tastes. Default options pretty much don’t exist anymore. And pretending that they do, but that they’ve just changed a bit, is perpetuating the same problem.
From experience, I can tell you that sometimes what a person both wants and needs is a pile of stuff. Carefully-chosen stuff that they’ll love and use, mind you, but a pile of stuff nonetheless. Sometimes what a person both wants and needs is an experience. So an experience gift is fantastic. And sometimes you have no clue whatsoever what somebody wants.
To the extent you don’t really know somebody well enough to have an idea what they want for Christmas, your gift – no matter how carefully you think you chose it – is probably going to fall flat.
This leaves you with one basic consideration – “what type of exchange do I want this to be?”
If you want a sentiment exchange, you don’t need an item – you just need to let the person know you’re thinking about them, and that you wish them a merry Christmas or happy Hanukkah or whatever holiday they’re celebrating. This requires a card, a pen, and a short (or long!) hand-written note inside the card.
If you want a value exchange, meaning that they receive something of significant value from you, you still need a card, a pen, and a short (or long!) hand-written note inside the card. I suggest taking the cash you would have spent on the gift (or a check if you’re mailing it), writing a note about what you’d like them to be able to do with the money, and then leave it up to them.
Pre-deciding the type of exchange is the key to mindful gifting. What are you actually trying to accomplish?